How to preserve your private life in the age of social media | Bryce Dallas Howard

Analyse you. You're listening to Ted Talks. Daily Bryce Dallas, Howard know. Something about living in the public eye and in the social media age, that something more and more of us have to better understand in her. Ted 2022, top the multi-hyphenate Creator share the lessons. She's learned about navigating a public life that nearly all of us could benefit from.

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In 2016, I filmed an episode of Black Mirror called nosedive. A woman named Lacey who lives in a futuristic world where everyone, erase your social interactions.

For anyone who hasn't seen it little spoiler, I basically have a nervous breakdown trying, really hard to get lice.

For many the episode felt a little too familiar.

Until recently only a small fraction of the human population lives, their lives publicly. And well, we haven't entered the Black Mirror world. Yes, we've entered. A new era. Everyone has access to a global audience.

We all live in public.

Some more willingly than others. There's pressure to share more of ourselves than we want. We often feel we have no other choice.

If you relevant to fit in to get ahead to be trusted and like accepted and understood.

This new compulsion toward self-exposure is possibly the biggest social experiment in history.

We're making life-altering decisions about our personal boundaries with no guidance and no Preston.

Fortunately, there is a blueprint.

Anyone who's lived in the public eye as an athlete's, a politician or an Entertainer has navigated a version of this?

My dad has been a public figure since he was five years old, as an actor, a child actor and later as a director and I've I've been an actress is my early twenties and fax. My family has been in the business of entertainment for three generations contending with how to handle putting ourselves out there for the last seventy years. My mom Cheryl never wanted to be in the public eye. She just happens to love a man who is

My mom and my dad wrong when they were 16. And by that point, she had flown Solo in an airplane, joined an all-boys Gun Club gotten in tons of fistfights and helped her single dad. Raised her younger sisters. Is it to say? My mom was a passionate busy young person who initially ignored the attention of the famous boy in her High School.

It was the early seventies and my dad was known for playing Opie in The Andy Griffith Show and he'd soon film a pilot for new show called Happy Days, much of this was lost on my mom. The only thing she washed on TV with Star Trek

after they finally joined forces, after he actually proposed three times and had kid, my mom transform into a full-on warrior woman, ready to protect

But it wasn't until I was given a movie script at free school as a way to get it to my job.

That my mom realized his visibility was extending to the entire family and that she would need to prepare us for something. She herself had never experienced growing up in the public eye.

And this entailed some extreme parenting tactics.

First.

No coddling like ever as a kid, I was terrified of snakes so my mom got me a pet snake.

When I blanked at my first piano recital, and ran offstage, crying. My mom is histed. I stay and support my Pierce years later when my son grimmest at a chipmunk carcass, our cat had left in the driveway.

Cheryl made him clean up the remains.

My mom wanted to toughen us up so we can have more courage and less fear when dealing with uncomfortable situations.

So that meant Zero coddling.

Put your comfort away, she preached.

Any challenge that arose was an opportunity to find your sea legs. Next up, confidence comes from character. Not, our looks Sparrow, was a giant buzzkill.

when she noticed me glancing in the mirror as a kid, she decided to nip that in the bud immediately

by covering up all the mirrors in the house.

At 11 compliment, was you have wonderful character, not you are beautiful. Oh, and character was built by doing chores.

But I wasn't making out to go far and I was sharing sheep changing tires scrubbing. Toilets volunteering shoveling snow Cheryl believes that hard work, particularly in service of others, Breeze, confidence a trait, we need more and more of when exposing ourselves to any kind of public attention.

but perhaps the most important lesson was

Private life makes a public life worth living.

Cheryl saw that while same came with many blessings, there was an impact and a potential cost to living your life in public. But the more than anything, she like, my grandparents before her emphasized, the value of privacy.

Because cultivating, a private life is precious.

It's a secret.

Its value is inherent in what you don't share.

What you withhold?

And for him.

The world's is now one. Big small town.

But within that virtual Town Square, there are tears of relationships degrees of intimacy and everyone deserves a different amount of you. A different size.

Now, where are those boundaries lie is up to you. But in order to make those decisions, we must all be our own Cheryl. Our own protect thirst

It is tempting to think, but the more I share, the more ways you have to connect with me. There's a specialist knowing that whatever you share with my husband. And my kids are my best friend, it's just for them, and no one else without that. Inner circle we're left with shallowness and avoid. We're known, but never truly known even to ourselves.

Living in public asks us to be Brave and Bold but preserving a private life and Powers us to take those chances.

so, when my 15 year old son started a YouTube channel,

And my ten-year-old daughter asked to join Tik-Tok.

I ask myself, what would Cheryl do?

As much as I want to protect my kids, I know encouraging them to opt out is not the answer.

so I don't want my kids in the digital Fray until they know who they are, but you develop your sense of self by participating in the world for trying to help them discover themselves through these Technologies not despite them

And I give myself that same protection and motherly advice by honoring two main principles.

The two-day delay. So whatever I'm experiencing I I try to wait 48 hours before posting and sharing because that way I can be present in private with the people I Loved Before calculating how I'm going to publicly position it and post with purpose.

Before I share, I ask myself, why?

What's the purpose and most importantly, how does it serve the people? I love.

The dangers and opportunities of living a life in public existed. Honestly, way longer before any of this.

But it's important to know.

What my family news on and knows. Now.

That your true value is measured by the richness of your private life.

The piece of you that only a select few or perhaps only you have access to.

Because the Legacy we create in private is as powerful and Blasting as any public Accolade perhaps even more. So

thank you so much.

PRX.