You are tuned into porch doll with rev bat will raw will talk rules. So sit back and relax with that delicious cup of coffee or tea or your favorite glass of wine as rough patch real transparent and real conversations about all things life. Let's get started.
Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the new episode of poor talk with where Pat and I have the honor of interviewing miss the beautiful eye on a davis. And let me tell you about this young woman. This young woman is an Autism advocate
And she is a children's book illustrator, he's done three books. The latest is called my melanin in you. That is available on Amazon. She is a designer, she is on her list is so long. I'm trying to give you all the debris so we can get to talk with her. She's a former choreographer. She has been seen on BET ABC family. Now that's interesting.
Now that interest in the Apollo Theater and she is trained over 100 students and I am just so honored to have her. So what I want you to do is grab your coffee, grab your tea, even your glass of wine and let's get talking with Miss Ayanna, Miss Diana. Thank you so much for taking me out so you still do what you want to know and imma imma give them a clue of your, your personality and I asked him. So my name is Ayana and I'm an Autism Advocate and artist art is my biggest form of communication I advocate for mostly black, women and children who I like his stick. I feel as if I'm black women and black children and even other people of color, who aren't like history, don't get the fair treat.
White people who are on the Spectrum as far as resources and even getting the diagnosis like crimson's by children. On average are diagnosed about three years later than their white here. So there's a lot of black people in autism. In black people, in the healthcare industry altogether.
Do you know that? I truly believe that because my grandson was in daycare for almost a year-and-a-half, almost 2 years before they decided to tell us that their issues with him. And that's how we that's what got the ball rolling day, he couldn't go back to daycare until he got tested on whatever. And we would just like his parents. Like, what's going on? We pick him up everyday and we ask how was your day and y'all have been telling us you know, he had a good day. He had a great day. Out of that. Damn he was the same so that's deep 3 years.
Is that all is well, I just interviewed someone who didn't find out until he was 45.
So, wow. So the disparity in and see. Let me say this before month, for my organs
Because we acknowledge disparity in in certain areas.
As far as our country is concerned, it is not a put-down on every white person, every white, teacher, every white. That's not what we acknowledge. We acknowledge that there are disparities between people of color and those who are not and that's just a fact of life. And so when you hear Rihanna stay there, I don't want you to say it, don't take away, is she trying to put down any race or anything weird, your knowledge, in that there's a disparity when it comes to this thing? And not just this thing all things, go on Jana. I think it is very, very, very brave of you to address that issue because know, who would know, who, who would know, if, if we didn't have a voice out there, acknowledging it now,
you also said,
part of what you gave us something, you're willing to discuss is
With an eye to feel Hollywood represents disabled people. In a Fair Way thousand, your disabled actors capable of playing a disabled character, but they would rather hire an actor without any disabilities to play unstable character, and then they do it in a mocking way. Like they're just making fun of the disability when you have a disabled character who can beautifully portrayed the character. So, there's just so much wrong with that. And there are actors who can portray, disabled, people and disable characters in beautiful ways, like Freddie Highmore, he portrays an autistic character on the good doctor in a, in a brilliant way. It's not done in a mocking way, but I
It done by other actors in mockingly. So I feel like to have a long way to go in the past two years. I see that they're trying but they need to try a little a little harder to say y'all doing a little bit, a little bit hard. I'm just now, the one thing that really, really, really, really
Is it an area of interest in it? And I'm not just saying that because you were your woman but also with the the gentleman that I interview, I asked him about his what it was like
has a person and because my thing is, is I'm going to say this
The diagnosis of autism. And I think that the the the worst thing that anyone with any diagnosis could ever do is to accept the diagnosis and make themselves the diagnosis if that makes sense. I believe that I can be diagnosed with. That's not me. I have the. I have whatever it is. You say I have but it doesn't have me. I still have the capability to do the things that I choose to do with them. Whatever boundaries. I must live in and I just, that's me. I do. Like the idea that people would take one word of what, even cancer, autism, I don't care what it is and make that the person that's not the person at all. That doesn't Define me has the person that I am. That's just a part of something that I have to. That's a piece of me that I have to live with our deal, with just like anybody else. So
How has being autistic affected you in relationship? Cuz you have when your one of your things is, what is it? Like today has a woman with autistic and what's so different about your dating with autism? Then someone who is non-autistic
it can be hell because
Yeah, you said one of the biggest things of being artistic is communication, has issues with communication and communication is a big, big and relationship. You had, you need your need healthy communication and it's hard to have healthy Communication in person. So it's like, okay, like it kind of, kind of like, you unintentionally.
Make the other person always feel like they've done something to you, but you're not doing it on purpose. Like they're having dinner on, you're not making eye contact. And if they don't really understand autism, they don't know that. You're not making eye contact because you're upset with them. It's not because you're upset with them. It's because maybe you're just a little bit over stimulated or maybe it's because you're trying to listen to what they're saying. So then that may cause tension and then, you know me, I have touch of version. I don't always want you touched me. Leave me alone. I don't want. It's so many like sensory issues and the communication issues, so it's always hard and then being an autistic individual whose verbal with nonverbal episodes, somebody who doesn't understand
Okay. Well you know how to talk. So why you ain't talkin in which a meltdown is not a tantrum. So it's just that if it's not somebody who can have a lot of patience with you and want to fully understand autism, have a lot of issues. And you have to really ask yourself what is this is really worth it, so it can be how it is. How can you repeat that? It's not a it's not a tantrum is the Meltdown so people can hear that. Cuz that's what it is when a meltdown and people say or should I say, was he having a baby that's not a tantrum. This is like,
An Autism meltdown is not a tantrum. So if you see somebody's child, having a hard time, don't make an assumption to think you're having a santra mind, your business, you're not going to help the parent and say, do you need something? Can I assist you in some way? Mind your business. It's not, it's not a tantrum, it's a meltdown, which is an uncontrolled behavior that many autistic children and adults, have we cannot control it. Sometimes, we don't know what brings it on. Sometimes it can be brought on by something that happened three months ago. So again, it's not a tantrum, it's a meltdown. And if you don't understand it, in the way, I'm trying to explain it Google history.
Nothing wrong with your communication skills. When you say that you don't like something that happened three months ago before the diagnosis. Before we knew what was going on. This Joker would go off about anything and you just standing there, like what is wrong with it? So now I'm switch lying. Hard to kind of recognize what triggers and
And this is not funny but this is just too and I'm saying this for other people and to make you feel good about your your your your meltdowns. If you still have it, I do. He loves this movie right? He loves them seem to, that's his favorite movie and I put it on for him and it was all good. I mean he was all good in the neighborhood and there's a particular song. At the end of the movie that I act, I know I love this song. I watched so many Disney movies and stuff with him, that I've seen this stuff in my head and sleeping whatever. And so, I made the mistake
Rewinding, the movie to go back and listen to that song like I'm going to I'm not going to be a big winner, I'm going to sing it with him. A girl, what did I do that for Dad is because yes, the prizes aren't Hospital, done is let that movie play all the way out if I want to hear the song, Let the song from Ariana man.
That one lasted like about a good 45 50 minutes and I'm just like, oh my God. Can't you want a popsicle? What do you want them? I'm trying to. Yeah. It is anything about Mel counts also? They, they come across different with everybody. So it before I was diagnosed. Everybody just thought that I had a bad temper at times and they thought that I just went around like cursing people out when I got angry. So like my meltdown they don't come across as what people see in the Tantrum. They they come across as more people out and like the people that know me, they know that I don't go out first people out. So now it's like making sense everybody that I also she really was he taking people out for real like for real
When when am I actually Drew, before I spoke words. So my meltdowns before I could speak, we're probably. Well, they were, they were shut down because I didn't really do the whole tantrum meltdown looking thing about how I was then it's just really interesting. But yeah.
It is I even when I got evaluated on the treatments, he speaking to my dad, they were asking him how I was in the child and you just, you know, how I was my behavior, is what I like, why didn't like so all the conversations that they had with him, that also get your help them determine, and get my diagnosis, but yeah. Like now late as an adult. My arm is very rare that they have like a like screaming fit or whatever. For Imelda, most religious me like cursing people out and tell him to leave me alone. I do like to be like left alone and have my own stage. Just because I know that like even though
What's the time when we don't remember them? But like, with me even though it's, it's
Uncontrolled. It still happen. So I take accountability for it and I don't want anybody to get hurt. I don't want anybody to get hurt. So I just tell people just leave me alone, I'm around, you can steal, my man, just let me go you know just clear my head and it's so so I'll be fine because I'm I'm big on not hurting the feelings of those that I love so hard to hear your choreography, your dancing.
Is that Hill? Is that cuz like my grandson, he loves singing in music. What will I don't do it anymore, but when I did it, I did find that I didn't have that as many episode. Like, I always say this. Why are saved my life? Because of a child, not knowing what's wrong with you even though I don't think anything's wrong. So different not knowing what's wrong with. You isn't easy. I was never like
My family never said, anything was wrong with me, is always like The Outsiders, like they was wrong with, it was wrong. But why? You were different was always hard. So, having, or having dance and theater and everything? That was like, always my excuse. So I feel that if I didn't have that my life really could have went in a different direction. I mean it wasn't all peaches and flowers and bunny rabbits. But it could have been so much worse. So I do believe that because I do art therapy everyday. So I like to have the proof that art is therapeutic.
Honey, let me tell you, you have been a breath of fresh air cuz I did not know what. Thank you, but I just help your personality that face.
For me and my head, I'm trying my best.
I do have, like, I do have a potty mouth. I don't know if your grandson curse, but most people do, and I really do. I think sometimes he's really saying shit, I really do. A lot of us are part of the, the potty mouth Club Us in the neuro diverse. Tell your dad, I can wait on my legs so I'm like I'm my best. No potty mouth Behavior right now. I know you really don't do it on purpose. It just that like our minds are so vibrant and like curses are just very vibrant words so I think that's why we like listening to this.
First words are vibrant words, lesson. She did not mean it that way, but I really do. I really don't think y'all y'all know y'all know what issue sounds like an issue, has a different tone to it and when he gets mad with his mother, I know that's what he's saying. In the first time you did it because he's really not the verbal, he speaks in what you would call it gibberish, except when he's singing now, he's singing he verbalizes. But he said some words and he's getting better because he's now in school. But that work that brother saying that word, I know he is, I know he's staying at work. So I just tell my daughter that because his brain is by
That's Survivor board for him and he'll probably pick up on that one. So,
What I want to do before I, Before I Let You Go, I want you to really, really, really Express the people, the importance of acceptance, not In-N-Out in my last interview with the gentleman that I interviewed. That was not diagnosed until he was 45. My heart went out to him because he live with all these things and did not know what was going on with him. And when he made it clear to me that he didn't, he did not like the word awareness, he preferred adamantly the word acceptance.
okay, I'll say this, I say awareness and acceptance because I respect everybody, you know, opinions are people like awareness the people I do prefer but they do have to be aware of us to accept this but
Acceptance is important because nobody should have to fight for.
Just to be treated with common decency and Humanity, just for being born. Like, I don't feel like we should have to fight to be accepted just because you were born in, like, you don't know. Like who? Like that's what we are, our conversation started. You don't know who you're missing out on, just because you're choosing not to know somebody because they're different. So, you know, just open your heart. You never know who you may need. Never know what may come from a relationship just because you open up your heart to somebody who's different and just accepted somebody for who they are.
You know what that I could have said that any better.
I could not have said that any better, and you have truly blessed me and I don't just say that you were in my prayers and thank you, I believe you cuz sometimes people say you're in my prayers.
When I know you really truly and because thank you, it's personal for me, there was a time when what hit me this year, was that, when I reach, I posted last year, in honor of other people, that I knew, who had grandchildren our nieces and nephews that had received a diagnosis of autism. So I made my post, I did my post in and did my awareness
Acceptance post last year this year. It was
different for me.
Because it was so personal because I had to really consider the fact that I have a grandbaby. And what's most important to me is that people do just what you just said that they understand it just as a human being. Why can't we just be accepting of others? And their difference is because we are all different if we were all alike. What a boring world with living around. So once again, thank you for joining me on the porch. Please give you that. My my utmost respect. And thanks for making sure you were here. You are going to be blessed. You are a blessing and I am ready. Y'all. Go to the mighty. Com.org. Ayana's.
Article, did you have my linktree? It's, I think it's, I think it's the violation if you have it. If not. We'll scare Dimitri. Is phenomenally auto correct? Is it so go to phenomenally and love that cuz you're Phenomenal Woman phenomenally artistic? So go to her and make sure you look for it. If not, she's giving us the way to go and read it at the mighty.com. And they have a specific specific, a specific section for autism. So going to read it. I'm going to read it as soon as you get off and I will rip you off and not leave me alone and show you exactly what I think about it. Once again, my beautiful girl be blessed to be blessed, be blessed and all blessings to you. Okay? All right y'all, thank you. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of
A pork chop, come back, next Friday. I know that you all know what I'm going to say. I'm going to say you blessed, but also be intentional about being a blessing, someone around you. So I'll see you right back here on the porch next week. Thank you for joining me. Thank you Iana.