MFM Mini - The Way To Be Confident

On a song about continents growing up, I was never super confidence. I was you in a group, in my group of friends who say they were six of us, you had, you know, the kid who always got into trouble right through those, you know, and then you get the class clown. Every love that person cuz they were making it. But if you had the person who was, you know, ambitious and was always got good grades and they were, they were always sort of top of the class and doing good in sports, that sort of thing. And then you had me, I was the friend who was like, I was just there to support all of all of them. I was just laughing. I was like a laugh track of a shell. I wasn't even the character.

And I was like, I wasn't very confident then talk very much and I don't change for me when I was living in Texas and in 10th Grade my family. My dad got a job in China as all of a sudden we were moving to Beijing and a pack of your bags. You're moving from Texas to China and on the plane ride there. I remember my sister was talking to me and she goes, you know how I feel about your new school. Are you excited nervous, whatever. I was like, I don't know, it's kind of the same. Same thing probably just another school so it won't be too different and she goes well it can be. I don't know what you was trying to say was not the difference between China and Texas, but the difference between me and China and me and texts she goes, you know,

Add none of these kids know you. So you have a kind of Fresh Start, that's pretty cool. You can pretty much be whoever you want to be. You can be however, you want to be. And I was like what do you mean? She goes. We'll think about in Houston like the kids in your school who are or cool, right at the strength pain and he's been his name was cool to feel he really loved him and he was always have a good time and I have used to see the other kids Casey and they were always having a good time and was reasons why was the their confidence elves and so, they were relaxed. Don't worry. I was worried about what other people are thinking of them and stop and that be great. If I could be like that, I didn't know how. I didn't know how to be confident and overtime I have learned

The Secret of confidence. I used to think. Okay, here's here's what I originally thought. I used to think confidence was, you know, either something you just have her, you don't you're born with it, okay? When I move to China and when I landed do, you know after that flight I ended up walking into school on the first day of school and I carried myself like can like carry myself. Like they say I carry myself like they used to do and I didn't know how to be confident. I didn't really understand. That's what a fake it till you make it. But what I figure it out was that confidence is not something you do directly.

Right? So confidence is not just popping up your chest because that's bravado, right? That's a false confidence. This is easily deflated by All My Rowdy Comfort persons. Not just pick your Fearless person. That person is confident as a byproduct of being adventurous. We tell you what I mean,

Overtime, I figured out that all I needed to do was focus on being adventurous. Putting myself in new unfamiliar situations and I'm going for it, you know, if there was a, we were at a lake and there was a rope swing, and I didn't know how to do the rope swing. I didn't know if I would land right then, I must do it, right? I got to lean into that Adventure. If there was a group of girls at bar, I wanted to go talk to but I don't know what to say.

I must go talk to them like that, mostly and adventure, and what I realized one Adventure after another user to realized, well if I keep putting myself in the position and then I come out the other side and, you know, sometimes it works, sometimes it's good. And sometimes you belly flop doesn't work so well, but either way, you end up. Alright,

Then fear goes away, anxiety goes away confidence sets in that regardless of the situation.

I'll be all right, I will a good things can happen. I have evidence that good things happen from being adventurous and therefore confidence. So when I did my first business, we wanted to start a sushi restaurant that idea to create a Chipotle of sushi. On the problem was, I have eaten sushi for the first time like two weeks before that. That's why I had the idea. I was like, oh my God is amazing. I haven't had this in my life, I was scared of it. Why doesn't somebody make a kind of more accessible version of this? But I was the idea and where most people would not have the confidence to go do it because they have no experience.

Island adventure. So we're watching TV watching the Food Network, does the Throwdown with Bobby Flay and we see this? It's a sushi drawdown who skip class and we're watching this this program and we see this awesome charismatic chef from La. Do the suit Sushi. Throwdown to get Bobby Flay.

Well, my friend, I Googled them. And we saw his restaurant in La and my friend goes like I never goes this calling.

Again, normally a lot of people shy away from that, right? That's a situation. What's going to happen if I call him? But what do I say when at work? Will not work leaning to the Avenger car until I pick up the phone? I called ring ring. Somebody picks up. I'm so used to getting the runaround with things that I just assumed. I was giving you the run-around again, I go. I need to talk to Philippi. How do I make that happen?

Voice on the longest, Philip talk to me.

Dynamic plan after that. So you know sort of stumbled and fumbled, but I was like, oh, Philip you're my name is Sean and sushi restaurant. You can be really great. And I just saw you on TV and I think that you're the perfect person to work with and he's like, well, who are you your kid like me know what weekend? You're very persistent and eventually, eventually he'd come on board and became kind of like another situation. I remember early on, in my career we were in a program called Kairos is like a pair of society. Like a I know basically they named the top hundred most Innovative College startups.

And which is in a like Ford's 13238. Kind of means nothing. It's just people, taking friends. In fact, I think our school had no nominees and so we just by default by being the only people to apply we want. So we would get Fulton New York to go to the stock exchange and as you get the present, we got on CNN, it was amazing. During that process, we heard that there was there was a trip, you could win if you were in the drawer, in that group is a trip. You could win like 20 or 30. People are going to win this to China all-expense-paid trip to China.

And a courtesy of Alibaba. I didn't know what Alibaba was at the time and we have missed the deadline to apply. So we weren't we were not going to win and I was sort of over

I saw somebody carrying the sign for the contest and getting to the elevator and going to the third floor. So I said I said, okay, you know, hey, let's follow her. So we go into the elevator, go to third-party. Try to find this one and find her and go up there and I say, hey I know what, I know I missed the deadline to apply but I just made this up. I go, I had a dream last night that I met a woman who ran the trip and then I got tickets if I don't know how it happened but I was in my dream. But it happened. And then I saw you and you had to sign. Tell me that's not a sign and she laughed. He likes to tell you that it thats assigned yet. Sure. Because you know, the registration is closed, eye closed. But, you know, I would love to go. I think, you know, I think I would make the trip fun for. Are you going, if you, if you're going and I'm going the trips to be fun? Can you do it that you have the power to make that happen? Don't you?

And I, yes, did you made it happen? We won an all-expense-paid trip to China. Went to to Alibaba headquarters, learn what the heck. Alibaba was, I was just trying to get a free trip. I thought that would be a fun adventure that ended up being extremely lucrative later because I learned about the Ecommerce through Alibaba. And because of that, I also bought a new Alibaba stock that didn't really. Well, I only had a tiny amount of money, but it didn't hit super. Well, you can't predict what's going to be the result. But the lesson I want to share is

Confidence to cold call somebody confidence to go up to him and say, hey y'all had a dream that I won. I can happen for me. It's not confident. It's leaning into an adventure over over and over again and the more adventurous you become the more bulletproof, you realize you are and that the byproduct of that is confidence

China today. If you see an opportunity to be adventurous,

Lean and where you would. Otherwise just stay on the sidelines. Try it one time. Tell me what happens to either that me and trust me. This works. You wanted if you ever want to be more confident. This is the way to do. Don't don't don't Oakland conference books on adventure.