You are listening to the drink less lifestyle podcast with dr. Sherry price episode number 37.
Welcome to drink less lifestyle, a podcast for successful women, who want to change their relationship with alcohol. If you want to drink less, feel healthier, and start loving life. Again, you're in the right place. Please remember that, the information in this podcast does not constitute medical advice. Now here's your host dr. Sherry price. Well Hello friends. How is your summer going? You know what? I love summer to me. There's such an aliveness in the air like the birds and the bees are buzzing teams of people are at the beach. Flowers are blooming, flowers are everywhere and there's just this activity and experience of Life all around so I can full bloom. I just love summer and it could be because I grew up on the east coast and when my husband married me he made an important observation. Like when you go to the east coast, summer is like a verb
All year long and then when we get to Summer, it's just like clambakes and outside these festivities and activities. It's just so fun. So I love summer and here we are getting up to leave on a mini-vacation. The three of us are flying to visit a part of Florida that we've never been to before and super excited to check it out. It's just a quick for day trip from San Diego, to Florida time, but it feels right to us gives us a chance to explore and check out a new area, just to change things up a bit. I know my husband and I just love exploring that sense of adventure. Going somewhere new going somewhere different, feeling it out seeing like it was somewhere. We want to come back to and we also crave the similarities and the things that we like to do all the time. So then we like to Crave sameness, and we also crave a little bit of Adventure. Both are exciting. So off, we will be gone.
And here's the thing, I want to ask you is that when you go on vacation, when do you actually feel like you're on vacation? I mean, it's almost like I've noticed with my own journey through life. It's like audible sigh that where you just relax into the vacation and this has evolved for me overtime. So when I first got married to Michael, we used to love to travel to Mexico a lot. Just a nice getaway. It's a different culture. Different feel feels like your worlds Away. We love the sand between your toes and we love tacos and guacamole. And we just love the hot temperature. Just feels good. And so I remember when we first got married and we would go on vacation, I would often notice that I wouldn't feel like I was on vacation until I had my toes in the sand, and there was a Corona in my hand
It was at that point in time that both of us kind of looked at each other and we took that big sign like and then we chairs are bottles and say cheers to vacation, right? That's what it felt like you were on vacation and then there was a period of time or our daughter came along and we took her to Mexico when she was 6 months old. And I remember that trip kind of vividly because it was the first time I felt like we packed up our entire house to take a trip. There are so many things to pack when you have a baby that travels with you, their food, their diapers extra changes of clothing, bed, sheets, like all the things and you're lugging, all these things and then you get to your hotel. And I thought I would have that sense of we're on vacation, but I noticed, I'd start looking around the room and things are baby proofed, and oh, my gosh, this could be a danger. And, where's the carpet area of the floor, s things of how to keep her safe and where would she sleep? And how would this work?
Just all of the things. I no longer is vacation about what you want. It's about around their schedule when they are hungry, when they sleep, you know, everything revolves around them. So I just remember, not really feeling that this is vacation. Even remember blowing up her a little pool toy, floaties with the little umbrella over it, and she's all decked out with her sunscreen and her sunglasses, and her hat, and her bathing suit, and her swim diaper and just floating around the pool with her. Still worried that she's going to flip through this floaty thing or it's going to break or bust. And I'm going to have to like school taxing but on the inside and never really felt that relaxed. I was always concerned for her safety and I was always thinking about is she okay? Now, I remember being envious because it seemed like my
Listen to relax on my God. Where is my relaxation? Right by the relaxation back in those days came from, when she took a nap, and often times my relaxation meant I get to sleep fast forward. When she's older now, traveling and I noticed when collectively like the three of us feel like we're on vacation. And that generally happens after we check into the hotel room, she might be jumping on the bed. We might just crash into one of the freshly made beds are like, finally here, so I don't know about you, but do you do that? Audible sigh of relief? Like, we're finally on vacation. It's like now I get to relax, right? And so as I started thinking about this, a few years back, I was thinking to myself, why in the world do I wait? So long to feel like I'm on vacation. Why do I have to check into a hotel? Why do I have to be? Actually at the destination to get that. We've made it, we've arrived. I wanted to see if I can move that feeling up because I didn't want to wait for it to come once we enter.
Hotel room, or we got to where we were going, I didn't want it to train my brain that like, hey, this is when I actually get to relax. I wanted to see if I can move that experience up some because, why not? I have to say I have been able to move that up. Now, I get that sense of I'm on vacation when my but hits the seat in the airplane. And I do feel that wash of ass, I come over me, I'm kind of delighted like eager that were actually starting the vacation. I'm already sensing that. The relaxation is setting in. I love being on a plane. It feels good to me. It feels kind of homey. I love to travel and it's funny cuz we always take early morning flights and I noticed I'm like smiling at everybody boarding. The plane at 6 or 6:30 in the morning, they're probably thinking in their heads who's this crazy lady who's so excited and so but why wait, like I love enjoying my vacation from the moment I get to him.
My vacation and to me. That's right. When I pop in my seat, on the airplane and comes up with like, oh, we forgot something too late. Don't worry about it. We'll get it on the other side, it's all okay. And here's what super interesting is that I feel I'm the only one in my family that relaxes this early on, I noticed. Because my husband's always shuffling around in his seat that six foot six, you know, it's kind of hard for him to juggle in his seat. He's worried about the passenger in front of him. Putting his seat back cuz his knees always get crash. So, he's situating his travel, pillow to protect his knees and he's getting settled. And I'm just sitting there, happy as a clam. It's so fun.
And why bring this up? Is because I think we have so much control over our own relaxation. And here's the thing, our relaxation doesn't have to match the energy around like I used to wait until I felt the relaxation come for my husband and for my daughter and then that would make me feel relaxed but now I created on my own list of what they're experiencing and the energy that their fee. So I realize this is a skill and I realized this was a skill that I Outsource a lot to alcohol. I felt that if I just had a drink in my hand then I can relax and not drink, was the symbol that told my brain. Now you can relax.
But now, I've gone to the point where I can do that for myself without a drink, regardless, if I have a drink, which is so beautiful and such a gift that you can give to yourself because when you start doing that, I'll tell you something. You start realizing how much you told yourself the story that you relaxed when you are drinking, and it necessarily didn't come all from the alcohol, it really made me see how powerful our minds are and how we give our power away to things around us. Like I used to not feel relaxed, all my toes were in the sand and a beer was in my hand. That to me was the definition of relaxation in those times. And while I'm not saying it's a bad thing to think that way all I'm saying is, I was waiting for outside factors to determine when I could feel relaxation within my body. Nobody ever taught me the skill that I can create that for myself. I didn't need these
External factors to line up perfectly. I didn't need for my daughter to be having a good day. My husband me all calm and then I could feel relaxed I can create that no matter what they are experiencing and what they are feeling and no matter where we're at, and this is such a beautiful process to tap into that skill because we can wait for all the factors to align. But then, then what does that mean? That means they have to all aligned in order for us to feel relaxed, which means we will be dependent on them for our feelings and I rather be independent of them. And also, if we're independent of them, we can create more of that feeling because we're not dependent on all the external factors being perfect and given that, there's so many stresses in the world and there's so many things that stress us out and come at us every day. Wouldn't it be nice to know that you have the skill to rely on to combat those dresses?
To me, it really build our mental capacity. It really build our mental strength so that we don't fall victim to mental illness.
And here's the thing, you enjoy life a lot more because who doesn't want to relax more? Now, here's the next thing I want us to think about is how do you define relaxation? Because I think we all Define it a little differently and I say that because when I queried the women that I work with on, hey, why do you drink? And a lot of them say to relax and as I lean into this, a little more and they describe what relaxation looks like to them. It actually turns out everybody has a slightly different definition of what it means to relax.
Some people can mean there's peace, there's nobody screaming, there's no kids crying. For some people, it means I'm entertain for other people. That means inner peace or calm for other people. It's like my mind shuts off and I'm not thinking about my to do list, right? We all Define it a little differently. So what's your flavor? What's your definition of relaxation? Cuz I really think that's important because a lot of us will say I drink to relax. Now think of what most of us do to relax. We watch TV, we get a movie or back in the days. We used to go to the movies. Maybe we take a nap, some of us focus on deep breathing, some of us find that through meditation, some of a spine relaxation. Through yoga we do all these relaxing things.
So why is it that you may be watching TV and still need a drink? Why isn't the TV on us? Because if it truly was relaxing to watch a movie or TV, are you looking for the alcohol on top of that? Why isn't the TV enough? What need isn't the TV watching? Giving you that's an interesting question, right? And what I find it, then different answers come up, but it's not really to relax. It's to feel better. It's to Nam out. It's to tolerate the movie that I'm actually watching cuz it's what my spouse picked and not what I picked.
And I'm laughing because notice how we use the common blanketed statement. I just want to relax when underneath it is the real truth. And here's the thing, you can't solve a problem if you don't know what the problem is. So for not speaking, honestly to ourselves we will never uncover the real reasons why we drink and if we keep telling ourselves it's to relax. But yet it's to tolerate something special training in our life. Then we're never going to get to the root of the problem to be able to change it. So it's interesting that we say it's to relax but is it really the pursuit of something else? Is it really the pursuit of feeling something different like feeling better or getting that rush or getting the butt and if so then maybe that's what we should be telling ourselves the truth.
And another reason I advocate for telling the truth is, here's a big thing, often times. We are looking to alcohol to give us something that it cannot sell. For example, we might be feeling lonely and what we truly want is a partnership and companionship with another human. But what do we do? We drink and we say oh because I'm lonely and that's why I'm drinking but notice that the alcohol can never give you the companion in the companionship that you were seeking. What alcohol is giving you is the numbing so you don't feel the loneliness so you don't actually go and try to solve for the loneliness. You just numb from it. And then the next day complained, that the problem is still there. And this is just one example, I see over and over and over again, with different things that we are using alcohol to solve for, but it can't solve for it. We keep chasing it with alcohol, but more alcohol won't be.
The solution. But since it feels good along the way we just ignore that is actually not the true solution. And then we wonder why we're disgusted and disappointed with ourselves the next day because on some point and some level, we think we're doing herself some good, the brains happy. This must be a good thing but then we over drink and what happens? The self-loathing, the low self-esteem, not feeling like you're in control, having copious amounts of alcohol, gives us a false sense of happiness. And why do I call it a false sense of happiness? Because when you're doing, it may feel happy. But the next day, do you feel happy? If you have true happiness, you're happy when it's happening and you're happy when you look back at it, right? It's like happiness that keeps on giving false happiness is just disguised as happiness, but it's really not making you happy.
I really want you to answer this question for yourself. Is it really relaxation that you're after? Are you really having that drink? Cuz you just want to relax or is there some other reason that you're not being honest with yourself about and if it truly is relaxation, why don't other modalities work? What are they missing that you get from alcohol. And here's another question, what are you actually drinking alcohol for and can drinking alcohol provide that to you? Yes, this is the path to your own Enlightenment. My friends got a Define it, you got to explore it, you got to uncover your own answers because this is the path that I walk. The women through that, I work with and it works wonderfully well.
This is what helps you be powerful so that you don't over drink. Because so many of us say, I don't know why I keep doing this. I don't know why I'm in the cycle of over-drinking all the time. I know it's not good for me. I know it's not healthy, but I just don't know how to make it stop. And I have been there and it's made me feel powerless, and it made me feel like I couldn't get control, which were only lies. And when I uncovered this for myself, now, I understood how to become a woman, who can take it, or leave it. Now, I can have one and be satisfied and be done, or maybe I choose to because now my brain truly understands how alcohol serves me and doesn't serve me. I know the truth about it and I experienced it in my body.
And this is so powerful when you can learn to do this for you, I still may choose alcohol to relax on some days. They also know how to do that without alcohol, and that gives me back my power, that makes me not dependent on alcohol, that allows me the ability to drink on my terms and that is the woman. I desire to be. So if you were struggling with over drinking and you want to learn how to do this journey, where you can drink on your own terms, I'd love to help you. This is the work we do inside my drink less lifestyle program. It's my three month program, where we completely transform your relationship with alcohol, and with yourself so that you can love your life and yourself again.
All right, my friends. That's all I have for this week. See you next week. Thanks for listening to drink less lifestyle. If you're ready to change your relationship with drinking now, check out the free guide. How do I effectively break the over drinking habit at Sherry price.com start. Now see you next week.