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Death, Sex & Money
3.6 out of 5 stars
Based on 30 reviews
5 out of 5 stars
Bob The Drag Queen, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Such an incredible story. Very inspirational. Put things in prospective. Thank you.
5 out of 5 stars
I consistently get useful information from DSM. The recent Fed Loan episode was so helpful to me and thousands of others!
3 out of 5 stars
Better editing, please
Easily half of every episode is indulgently unedited clips of Anna laughing, and laughing, and laughing in a way that, though it probably isn’t, sounds intentional and forced as a compliment to the guest. She can’t just chuckle, she has to laugh for 10 seconds straight, and they keep it in the episode. At this point, it’s distracting. Misophonia folks beware this chuckle porn.
1 out of 5 stars
5 out of 5 stars
Love episodes about relationships
Love the episodes with the panelists and advice columnists giving feedback, as well as the eps that are focused on real people and relationships. Thank you for actually including queer people struggling with things in your episodes, feel kind of amazed to hear actual queer relationships be mentioned in a variety of different ways instead of just once and then never again. Also I loved the siblinghood episode that featured someone who had a sibling that she did not want to be in touch with, and the difficulties and complex and generous feelings she shared with coming to terms with that. I feel comforted by the stories that don’t “end well” and hearing from how people deal with that. Truly appreciate your show and the people you bring on (less interested in the celeb episodes but who cares! It’s a podcast and I can pick and choose what I want 💓). Thank you to Anna and all the producers and people behind the scenes who make this show happen!
5 out of 5 stars
Interesting, Smart, Entertaining
Has a sociologist of culture and the economy, I find something intriguing in every episode. Thanks for the good work!
i'm not a trumpite
1 out of 5 stars
Is “sex” part pushing gender politics on listeners?
Not a subscriber, so I don’t know if it’s true for other episodes… downloaded the mini series on Viagra. 70 percent of the interview time was dedicated to LGBT people, and the other 30 was split between heterosexual men and their partners. And a lot of that 70 percent was not even about Viagra, just general sexual experiences of the LGBT people.
1 out of 5 stars
A friend in the execution room
I’ve listening to a lot of episodes and I just got to this episode. I get it, you can be against the system but to say you want to leave the US because of it?? Then leave, please leave our country where I can feel safe everyday unless so many other states. To bash our country over execution is maddening. It starts in your home, in the schools, be better and help and the youth before they are incarcerated. Encourage better morals. The prisons are filled! Start helping your community before they end up there. Do your part to make America a safe and enjoyable place to live.
5 out of 5 stars
This isn’t journalism!
ED and Viagra is a ( bit so thinly disguised) paid sponsorship for the medicine. This isn’t storytelling.
2 out of 5 stars
Great host, awful topics
It used to be a better show with racy and interesting topics. I think after the 2016 election, the show broke and now it’s all very depressing and boring interviews. Skip!
5 out of 5 stars
Rare opportunity to hear the silent/silenced side
Nov. 10, ‘21 episode is so relevant to all of us - you never know, being on the living side of an accidental death accident could happen to anyone of us - regardless of how careful we are. This is a living fear of mine. Thank you hugely to these two contributors for giving in this generous way to help us understand that which we all pray to never experience. Those of us not having experienced this tragedy can truly understand the meaning behind the phrase, ‘there go i but by the grace of god’, tho the ‘grace of god’ part is an euphemism for ‘the lucky stars’. I applaud this program, Anna & the contributors for putting a light on what few of us ever bring to a verbal conversation.
Mia and Michelle
1 out of 5 stars
Miss the old show- disappointed
Today I unsubscribed. I used to be a fan but I miss the shows about death, sex, and money. Ironically which is the title of the show. The newer episodes (whenever there are new episodes which isn’t often or consistent) are just the most boring interviews with celebrities we have never heard of or random people that have less than nothing to do with your show. While I do love Anna’s voice I thought her thing was all about talking about hard things. Can’t remember the last time she did that. I have given this show so many chances but I am done. Hope you bring back the old style- if not change the name of your show. Bring more juicy content! Not loving the celebrity interviews and don’t see how they are relevant to the show. The celebrity interviews seem so out of place and have nothing to do with the theme of the show. The episode on why we’re not having sex and the strip club episodes were good!! Disappointed in some of the most recent episodes with boring celebrity interviews like the peloton instructor. I used to look forward to this show but the past year has really been hit or miss wish they would bring the old style back and stick to the theme of the show. Plus there are rarely new episodes anymore it seems like it is being faded out or changing into something entirely different. Really miss the old show and wish you would bring back episodes that are true to the nature of the show. I see a lot of other people are saying the same thing online. All my friends and family members who used to listen have all stopped and now so have I. Really disappointed.
2 out of 5 stars
It’s like they’re not even trying anymore.. I don’t understand how these boring episodes with these random people live up to the show’s name. This show used to be so good and the topics used to be relevant. Now they’re just…. uninteresting. The show was good when the team would pick a real topic and have everyday people to tell their stories (ex: episodes about cheating, drinking, STI’s, sex work, dating, divorce, money issues, etc). Once it made the shift to talking more to “celebrities” and people who do very specific things (like an Elvis impersonator… how is that interesting???), the show went way downhill. Please put some more thought into these episodes and return to the original format. There is PLENTY to talk about besides what 80% of these episodes have covered in the last year and a half.
5 out of 5 stars
While I enjoyed this episode, I was disappointed that it started by saying so glad you asked to speak about menopause, but then really didn’t go into it very much. Asking once again why don’t we speak more about it?
5 out of 5 stars
I’m getting nervous…
I keep hearing ads for DSM when I listen to Radiolab and that was the same thing that happened to leading up to Ask Me Another getting canceled… please don’t cancel DSM!!!! I never miss a week!!!!
5 out of 5 stars
Love the podcast but…..
Had a hard time with hearing Ms Seaton’s struggle. Her alimony and child support will run out and she “can’t afford to live here.” It’s tough to hear her “struggles” when others can’t even buy food or pay rent. I get that class consists of owning, middle, working and working poor, etc but she still seems to act “owning” class with the privilege but not AS MUCH money. And can I say that bringing your own wood in the house and doing your own repairs is STILL not a “struggle.” Be bold and make it on your own-you can do it-you don’t need “rich” men to pay your and your kids way. What a privilege to ask for money because her child got into a “great school.” The world is struggling well beyond her ability to comprehend. Hopefully she has learned more since 2018.
3 out of 5 stars
Somewhere in the middle
The host’s raucous laughter is grating and often times seems inappropriate on a show that delves into deeply personal content. The newer episodes have seemed to lack the depth of previous seasons.
4 out of 5 stars
Anna Sales is phenomenal! Very insightful and thoughtful. Topics are quite interesting.
5 out of 5 stars
This podcast is gold. I love Anna’s hosting & interview ability. I love hearing from so many different people. I love listening to stories that could easily be my own. Thank you for this gem!
g face bh see dnwsj
5 out of 5 stars
Practical action for audience
A wonderful foray into uncomfortable topics. You can feel Anna take a deep breathe before asking the interviewee to reveal another, deeper level of their emotions, motivations or fears. I particularly love that this podcast uses its platform to create resources by and for listeners with similar experiences.
5 out of 5 stars
Always a good listen
Anna is an excellent host who brings the best out of her guests. As a long time listener of this podcast, I keep coming back for the conversations about grief, connection, and human empathy.
4 out of 5 stars
I soooooo wish that Amanda would hear that Cora is having a hard time finding her voice with her husband. Not only is she nervous because he has attempted suicide, but also now that she has responsibility of money he is tying her hands emotionally. He’s a baby and she’s carrying the emotional load. I have done it and feel badly for her, she needs more support from Amanda.
hoping for a come back
3 out of 5 stars
Used to be great now it’s just disappointing
I loved this podcast when it first came out. It was refreshingly honest and in-depth. The episodes now are superficial and bland. They do not seem as well-researched as in previous years and are challenging to engage with. Much of the information discussed between Anna and the celebrity/famous guests is completely Google-able and has been discussed ad nauseam. The surface level discussions are hard to empathize/sympathize with and frankly leave me feeling annoyed and like I wasted my time. It is possible that after several years being “on air” that the novelty of the podcast has worn off, but I can’t help but feel like DSM is just phoning it in.
5 out of 5 stars
One of my fav podcasts!
I love this podcast ! Subject matter is engaging and informative and Anna is a wonderful host Compassionate and real Keep up the good work!
5 out of 5 stars
Re: the “On the Fence…about having kids” podcast.
I do get annoyed by the intrusive laughter of the host, laughter at things that are humorous, but not THAT funny. And I do get slightly out of joint when the laughter goes on and on past it’s sell by date, and I say to myself “heeeyyyy….stop already!” because the laughter is taking time away from the actual podcast.
1 out of 5 stars
Anna, or I guess she would probably refer to herself as “they”, is is “over the top” into PC language. Just hard to listen to over & over. I tried, I’m done. Don’t waste your time.
1 out of 5 stars
I’d really wanted to hear the content, but it’s hard for me to get past that superlative “like...”every sentence. It degrades the content and intelligence credibility of the journalist.
1 out of 5 stars
Can’t stand her fake laugh
Why is everything her guests say so funny? I hate her fake laugh. The topics are mostly boring. Not sure why she is so popular. Lacks depth and fakes intimacy.
5 out of 5 stars
Hart you have to do the right thing and get your money out of the account please let me know when I need it to my credit card account number so I don’t know what it is
5 out of 5 stars
Both fun and intelligent
I have been listening to a variety of podcasts for years, and just discovered this one. I love it! It's fun & light-hearted (most of the time anyway), but also though-provoking. These stories stick with you!
- Amount of episodes
- Explicit content
- Episode type
- Podcast link
- Last upload date
- September 28, 2022
- Last fetch date
- October 5, 2022 3:09 AM
- Upload range
- WNYC Studios
- © WNYC
- India Walton: I Knew It Was Gonna Be Tough, But I Didn't Expect it to Get NastyIndia Walton grew up in Buffalo, New York, a starkly segregated city, where 85 percent of the city's Black residents live on the East Side. She started a family there at 14 and then a career as a nurse in her 20s. In her 30s, she left a violent marriage, became a neighborhood organizer, and decided to run for mayor. In June 2021, India shocked the political establishment and won the Democratic primary, beating the four-term incumbent mayor. She was shocked, too, and the jubilant video of her calling her mom that night went viral. But, the mayor did not concede, and he won the general election after he launched a write-in campaign. Five months after India lost that election, a gunman shot up a grocery store on Buffalo's East Side and killed 10 people in a racially motivated attack. In this episode, we talk about when government helped India and let her down, and how growing up poor and Black in Buffalo fueled her drive to change systems – in healthcare, education and housing politics. Want to hear more of DSM's past episodes with political leaders and public officials? Listen to Anna chat with Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, current Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm, and way back, in one of the show’s very first episodes, former Wyoming Senator Al Simpson.0 comments0
- Inside John Waters' Home (But Not Inside His Colon)John Waters is the writer and director of such cult classics like Pink Flamingos , Serial Mom , and his biggest mainstream success, Hairspray . He’s been making movies since the 1960s and this year he released his debut novel, Liarmouth: A Feel Bad Romance . The novel is an incredibly dirty romp filled with the kind of taboo storytelling that John Waters revels in. In his work, he shines a light on the worst of us but rarely to ridicule, more as a reminder of how gloriously sinful we can be, as we discussed when I spoke with him in his Manhattan home. His interest in the carnal, though, has its limits. “When I got a colonoscopy, they said, do you wanna watch? No!” he told us. “Why do I wanna go on a fantastic voyage up my a–hole?” We also talked about money management, aging, and his secret to maintaining his many long friendships. “I do stay in touch and if anything bad happens to you, I call. If you get a bad review, I call. If you go to jail, I definitely am your first visit,” he laughed. “I never don't come visit you if you're in jail.”0 comments0
- How Clothes Help Us Find Our People and OurselvesFor many of us, the last few years of the pandemic has given us time to reflect on different aspects of our identities and how we show up in the world. That's meant more room to explore what silhouettes, colors, and textures feel good, what haircuts work or don't, and what you love—and what you hate—about getting dressed up in the first place. And for a couple of listeners, ruminating on their personal style has also meant thinking about community, and how clothes fit us into social spaces. A listener named Stephen told me he can remember what he wore in most social interactions. "The clothing in all of these memories is like the set of extras that don't have any lines." For another listener, Bill, fashion allows him to recognize himself as a trans man, and who he wants to attract… or avoid. "I think about what I wear a lot," he told me. "It takes up space in my brain that doesn't always feel good." This week, your personal style transformations: the good, the bad, and everything in between.0 comments0
- Lucinda Williams Says Whatever the Hell She Wants*This episode originally ran in 2016. When Lucinda Williams was in elementary school, all the other kids brought rock collections and other standard fare to show-and-tell. But she brought a folder. "I put this notebook together of seven poems and a short story by Cindy Williams," she remembers. Decades later, she's still documenting her impressions of the world, now in raw, often mournful songs that explore death, heartbreak, abandonment, and love. Many of her them are based in the American south, where Lucinda grew up — including those on the album The Ghosts of Highway 20. "I know these roads like the back of my hand," she sings on the title track. Lucinda was close to her father, poet Miller Willams, throughout her life. He encouraged her interest in words and writing, even taking her to visit Flannery O'Connor when she was a little girl. So it was especially hard for her to see him go through Alzheimer's disease. He died a year before our conversation, less than six months after the summer day when he told Lucinda he couldn't write poetry anymore. "I just sat there and just cried," she remembers. "That was when I lost him." In her sixties, Lucinda says she's more successful than ever, selling out shows on the road and happily in love with her manager Tom Overby, whom she married on stage during an encore in 2009. But, she told me, getting older can still feel like a drag. "I don't like the aging process. I don't like getting older because of all the loss. It just gets harder and harder." See the video on Lucinda's Facebook page of her performance of "Compassion" at her father's home before he died. Miller Williams reads his poem, and Lucinda follows by singing her musical interpretation.0 comments0
- Big Freedia Bounces BackEven before becoming Big Freedia, Freddie Ross was known around New Orleans. Her "signature call"—an operatic bellow that she lets out when I ask to hear it—was legendary in the city. "They'd be like, 'Oh that's Freddie in the club'.... The signature call comes very loud. And proud." Freedia came out to her mom as gay when she was 13, and soon came out to her classmates as well. She tells me she "had to do what every other gay kid had to do: fight for their life, and let people know that you are not no joke." She eventually started performing as part of New Orleans' queer bounce music scene, and became a local celebrity. Then, in 2005, Freedia got shot. "What the motive was, I don’t know to this day still," she says. After finally mustering the courage to start performing again, Freedia also moved into a new place, to get a fresh start. Hurricane Katrina hit about a week later. She and her family were together at her duplex during the storm, where the water rose to the second floor. They cut a hole in the roof to signal for help. Days after being evacuated, Freedia made her way to Houston, where she lived for two years. In Houston, Freedia met her boyfriend, Devon. After years of dating men who weren't openly gay, Freedia says Devon's openness about their relationship has made a difference. "When your love grows for somebody and y’all get closer you wanna...feel more appreciated, and you wanna feel loved," she says. Freedia eventually returned to New Orleans, where her career continues to expand. “A lot was happening after Katrina. I mean money was slinging everywhere,” Freedia tells me. “You know everybody had FEMA checks, girl!” I talk with Freedia about what's happened in her life in the years since she returned to her hometown: publishing a memoir, starring in a reality TV series, and losing her beloved mother to cancer. * This interview is from 2015 and part of a series about New Orleans on the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. The lot where Big Freedia's house stood, before Hurricane Katrina. (Emily Botein) Sitting on the porch swing with Big Freedia. (Katie Bishop) Big Freedia performs her song "Excuse" before she and over 300 dancers set the Guinness World Record for most people twerking simultaneously: Big Freedia: Queen of Bounce Season 4 Trailer:0 comments0
- Finding Meaning After My Husband's Public DeathWhen talking about the death of his husband, Terry Kaelber doesn't use the word suicide, "I tend to say he took his own life out of deep distress about the environment through self-immolation." Terry says it's out of respect for David that he chooses his words carefully —"I t was a rational decision on his part." In 2018, David Buckel doused himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire in Brooklyn's Prospect Park. Minutes before, he sent a note to prominent media outlets. He wrote, “Most humans on the planet now breathe air made unhealthy by fossil fuels, and many die early deaths as a result—my early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves.” David was 60, an environmentalist, and former LGBTQ rights lawyer. In this episode I talk to Terry about how he thinks about David's death now, and how grief still connects them. "I would never want the grief to go away," he says, "It's always a reminder of how important we were to each other." We also talk about moving on and finding new adventure and joy —"If somebody had said to me within the first year of David's death, that this would happen, I would've said you're crazy." A memorial for David in Prospect Park (Terry Kaelber ) For more Terry, listen to him on Vox’s Today Explained , along with Tim DeChristopher who was imprisoned for his climate activism, and if you are experiencing climate grief, we encourage you to go back and listen to our episode with researcher Britt Wray about our emotional reactions to the reality of climate change where we also link to resources.0 comments0
- Knock Knock, Who's There? Bob the Drag QueenIf you lived in Columbus, Georgia in the 90s, you might have spent time in a queer club called Sensations. But Bob the Drag Queen knew Sensations by day, not night – she was in elementary school when her mom owned the place. As a kid, Bob would try to help clean or bust a move on the dance floor. A couple years into college, Bob left the South for New York City. She performed in drag for the first time, turned her big ideas into iconic side hustles, and auditioned for, and eventually won, season 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. But, that schedule didn’t leave her a lot of room for romance. Bob and I talked about making time for her first boyfriend in her 30s, trying to move her family into a bigger home, and supporting and collaborating with queer and trans people in small U.S. towns as a co-host of the HBO reality show We’re Here.0 comments0
- What's Going On With Student Loans?Here we are again: Just weeks before the federal pause on student loans is set to expire, with indications that the pause will be extended, and hints at debt forgiveness, but no concrete course of action as of recording this episode in early August. With so much uncertainty, we decided to invite our favorite expert on the topic, Betsy Mayotte, president of The Institute of Student Loan Advisors , to take some of your questions. Maybe not surprisingly, we got a lot of them. Some of you dreaded budgeting back in loan payments after the pause ends (for that Betsy suggests trying a loan simulator), and many of you had questions about Public Student Loan Forgiveness (PSLF), and whether the changes the Biden administration made to the program are here to stay. Betsy says, " I have researched the Higher Education Act back to the seventies, and Congress has never, ever retroactively removed a benefit from existing student loans. There is practically as close to zero of a risk of PSLF going away." If you have a question that was not answered in this episode, you can contact Betsy by going to her website where you can also find all sorts of helpful resources, like a guide to forgiveness, and where to start when thinking about a repayment plan.0 comments0
- "This Isn't Just About Abortion": What the End of Roe Means to YouIn the weeks leading up to and after the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson, which ended almost 50 years of the constitutional right to abortion in the United States, we asked you to tell us how you’re feeling, and how you’re thinking and talking about family planning and access to reproductive care. Some of you told us about your anger, your fears, and we also heard stories about difficult conversations with loved ones, or a sense of clarity about the options in front of you. And as the post-Roe landscape continues to shift state by state, we wanted to hear from someone in Mississippi, the state at the center of this landmark Supreme Court case. "T here's no getting around that the impact is on everyone," said Laurie Bertram Roberts, co-founder and executive director of the Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund. I spoke with Laurie about the ways this moment was expected, how their work has changed post-Roe, and why they feel both rage — and a sense of hope — about what's to come.0 comments0
- Bottled Up: Your Stories About AlcoholIt can sometimes feel like alcohol—whether you're drinking it or not—is an intrinsic element of navigating adulthood. After all, over 70 percent of American adults drink. We take drinking so much for granted that we often fail to really engage with the role it's playing in our lives. " It’s been a piece of everything since we’ve turned 21, or 18," a listener named Cari told us. "We've always had a drink or been drinking when we’ve been at parties. And it’s so funny that I’m 34, and that is a worry: that if I weren’t drinking, maybe the party would move to someone else’s house." We asked you to share your experiences with alcohol —why you drink or don't, the strategies you use to manage your consumption, and what alcohol brings you besides a buzz. And we learned that our feelings about alcohol are much more complicated than we tend to acknowledge. If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or seeking more information about alcohol consumption, check out these resources.0 comments0
- The Highs and Lows of Being a Starbucks Union OrganizerWhen we called Jacob Lawson, a 23-year-old Starbucks worker from Utah, he was on his way to another Starbucks store in Idaho to help them start a union. "It’s not too far from Utah. It's 150 miles, but I’ve driven further to help a store unionize," he told us. By now, you've probably heard that the Starbucks union is having a moment. Since the first store successfully voted to form a union in 2021, more than 175 stores in 30 states have followed suit. The reasons for the union's success are varied — support from the established union, Workers United , and small store sizes make getting a majority vote simpler — but the Starbucks unionizing drive is also extremely collaborative, made up of mostly young people who talk to each other from stores across the country and share tips. For this episode, we invited a few of these workers to tell us what their experience has been like. I met Jacob Lawson, 20-year-old Laila Dalton from Phoenix, Arizona, and 33-year-old Benjamin South from Ithaca, New York over Zoom. When we talked on a Friday in early June, they were all experiencing different turns in the unionizing story, some victories, some defeats, and some very real consequences of going up against a multi-billion dollar company.0 comments0
- “No Call Goes Unanswered”: A Lifeline in WyomingOn July 16, 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline becomes a 3-digit number: 988. This switch means that many local call centers across the country are preparing for a higher volume of calls. And for someone in crisis, it means a lot to hear someone on the line who knows the community they're calling from. In Wyoming, that sort of knowledge can be helpful, and also a deterrent to accessing mental health services. "We’re very rural. Everybody knows your business," Karen Sylvester told me. She's the director of training and fundraising for the Wyoming Lifeline, one of two new call centers in the state that began operating in 2020. "And so when it comes to somebody struggling, the last place that they want to have their car parked is outside the mental health office. So that everybody in town can whisper or try to decide what they think is going on with so-and-so." Wyoming had the highest suicide rate per capita in the US in 2020, and while that impacts people across all demographics, white men 25 and older account for most of the deaths by suicide in the state. I talk to suicide prevention advocates, as well as a suicide attempt survivor, about the changes ahead in the state.0 comments0
- The Very Hot Marriage of Niecy Nash and Jessica BettsWhen actress Niecy Nash and R&B singer-songwriter Jessica Betts first met in 2015, they struck up a deep friendship. So when they began to fall in love a few years later, they were both caught off-guard. Niecy was newly divorced and had never been in a relationship with a woman before, and Jessica didn't think she could find love again. But they took the plunge, and when they announced their relationship and marriage publicly in the summer of 2020, they didn't expect the outpouring of love and support. Almost two years into their marriage, they're still learning about each other's habits and quirks, and are just as in love and hot for each other as ever. They joined me from their Los Angeles home to tell me about their love story, how they learned to live together during the pandemic, their faith, and the surprising ways their age difference shows up in their marriage. Want to hear more Niecy? Listen to our 2017 episode, "Life in Our 20s: Advice from Niecy Nash, Alia Shawkat & Terri Coleman," or my 2015 interview with her for NPR's Fresh Air .0 comments0
- Cut Loose: Your Stories of Breaking UpWhen Nan Bauer-Maglin was 60 years old, her husband left her for his 25-year-old student. "I thought about suicide. You know, there’s a great feeling of rejection especially if you’re older," she told me. "You just feel ugly and invisible and sad and quite gray." Nan wrote a book inspired by their breakup and called it Cut Loose. "First I was gonna call it 'Dumped.' But that’s so negative," she told me. "Cut Loose is also about freedom." Nan is one of hundreds of listeners who shared their breakup stories with us, after we asked for them last year. And she's not the only one who mentioned a potent mix of rejection, liberation, and confusion at the end of a relationship. A listener named Drew remembers when his boyfriend went on a trip, left his dog at Drew's house, and never came back. Thomas*, who got married right out of college, is 25 and unsure of what his life will look like after his impending divorce. Mia sent in a voice memo about leaving her boyfriend behind, and struggling with the decision years later. Identical twins Matthew and Peter Slutsky realized they needed to break up after years of living parallel lives: attending the same college, working the same jobs, living with their families in the same neighborhood. Creating some distance was part of growing up, but that doesn't mean it wasn't hurtful. In your breakup stories, you also described how hard it can be to know when it's over. Steve* knows he's not happy right now, but isn't sure if the problem is him or his long-term boyfriend. "I love him and I don’t want to hurt him," he told me. "This just seems like kind of a way to wipe the slate clean and start over." Sometimes, though, breaking up can also feel like a long overdue exhale. Beth, a listener in Philadelphia, recalls the day when she was riding her bike on her commute and choked out the words, "I don't want to be married!" She was divorced within a year, and looking back now, wishes she hadn't waited so long to be honest about her feelings. Whether you're in the middle of a breakup or you've been through one in the past, check out breakupsurvival.guide, a website our listener Emily Theis built from your best suggestions about what to read, watch, listen to and do after a split. *Name changed for privacy reasons We're re-airing this episode from 2017. Listen to the end for some relationship and life updates.0 comments0
- 'I'm Done Kissing Your Butt': From Manager to Labor ActivistOne of the first things Mary Gundel told us about her childhood was that the Florida foster care system left her with a persistent sense that she was invisible. "Nobody cared, nobody wanted me," she said. Pregnant at 16, then again at 18, and with a third child diagnosed with autism a little while after that, Mary and her husband worked many low wage jobs on opposite schedules so someone could always be home with the kids. But despite feeling unseen, Mary told me story after story about how she changed the lives of her coworkers and loved ones, from taking in a friend's kid, to staying late at the register when a coworker called out, no questions asked. These sorts of stories might have stayed confined to Mary's small Tampa network had she not become an overnight TikTok celebrity. Her viral moment? A 6-part series documenting her day-to-day frustrations managing a Dollar General, one of America's largest convenience stores, where she worked for three and half years. We talked about what led her to speak out about working conditions on social media, getting fired, and igniting a national workers’ movement. Invisible no more, Mary concedes, “They’re listening to me now!”0 comments0
- How Harvey Fierstein's Bad Sex Led to Good ArtWhen Tony Award-winning actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein was growing up in New York City in the 60s, he was surrounded by the beginnings of the gay rights movement, and protest art and avant-garde theater was the norm. "I didn't know that being gay was sad until I got out into the world and they told me that," he said in our interview. "All the gay people I know are really kind of happy." And writing from that lens has informed his work ever since. In his new memoir, I Was Better Last Night , Harvey shares the six year journey to get his breakthrough play, Torch Song Trilogy, on Broadway, and shares other behind the scenes stories from hit Broadway plays like Hairspray, Fiddler on the Roof, and La Cage aux Folles. He also told me about his relationship with his younger brother turned business manager, why he's happily single and sober, and how he thinks he'll be remembered.0 comments0
- What Our Teachers Are CarryingAt the beginning of the calendar year, when Omicron was surging across much of the country, we asked those of you that are educators to tell us what led to your profession in the midst of another difficult pandemic school year, and how you were coping with it all. You told us about burnout, navigating confusing and changing rules about safety and politics in the classroom, feeling undervalued as workers, and why some of you were leaving education altogether. As the end of the school year approached, I followed up with four teachers in school districts across the country, from a middle school librarian in rural Wyoming, to a teacher navigating their first year of in-person teaching in New York. They told me about how the year has gone, the effects on their personal life, and what they're most excited about for this summer.0 comments0
- Maria Hinojosa on Partying, Partnership, and Her New PulitzerJournalist Maria Hinojosa and the staffs of Futuro Media and PRX recently won the 2022 Pulitzer Prize in Audio Reporting for the podcast "Suave." For Maria, winning this accolade took years of hard work. Maria is best known as the host of the public radio program Latino USA, a role she's occupied for over 25 years. But before then, she had to navigate newsrooms at CBS, NPR, CNN, and PBS at a time where she was often the first and the only Latina journalist there. As she wrote in her memoir, Once I Was You, that meant having to walk with confidence and believing in her work when, she says, her mostly white colleagues didn't. But, as Maria told me when we spoke back in 2020, the confidence she built while working in media didn't totally translate to other parts of her life. "You know, my marriage almost broke up because of my ego," she said. And as her career became more successful, she told me about the times she says she didn't prioritize her husband and her kids, about the crisis point that led her to reevaluate her role in her relationship and as a mother, and about how, these days, she is practicing listening and self-love. Plus, I catch up with Maria and she tells me about the significance of the award for her.0 comments0
- How Much Climate Anxiety Helps?If you're like me, you might have a hard time getting to the end of articles that predict climate catastrophe. You might put a lot of faith in technology to save us, and you certainly don't want to think about an unsafe climate future for any young children in your life. If you're more like my guest for this episode, Britt Wray, you may have had periods of time where you can't stop thinking about climate catastrophe, times when your climate anxiety became so unbearable you couldn't function. Britt’s new book is all about our emotional reactions to climate change. She says, "these abilities to sit with the emotions and allow them to be there is actually really crucial to climate action at all." We met for a hike through the Santa Cruz mountains and we talked about how she emerged from debilitating climate dread, and how she grappled with the question of whether or not to have a child. "In the end the decision to not have a child felt like a commitment to fear. And then on the flip side, deciding to have a child felt like a commitment to joy." A photo from my hike with Britt Wray in the Santa Cruz Mountains Do you want to lessen your climate anxiety while also helping the planet? Britt says, "It's a crucial step to find community with others who can stand in the fire with you, who get it, who will mirror and validate the concerns and will never say you're overreacting." Here are some resources she suggests: The Good Grief Network, modeled off of a 12-step program, hosts in-person meetings around climate anxiety and climate action. C onceivable Future hosts parties for people to talk about family planning in a warming world, and The All We Can Save Project offers a how-to guide on starting your own community talking group. Subscribe to Britt Wray's news letter Gen Dread, which is all about staying sane in the climate crisis. Britt Wray is a Human and Planetary Health Fellow at Stanford University and author of the new book Generation Dread: Finding Purpose in an Age of Climate Crisis0 comments0
- "There’s Never a Perfect Time to Say, 'I’m Blind'"Back in 2021, we asked you to tell us about the hard conversations you were struggling to have in honor of the release of my book, Let's Talk About Hard Things. One of the people I talked to was a listener named Fey. Fey is 27 and lives in Maryland, and she has a degenerative eye condition. Eventually, she will probably lose her eyesight completely. She'd written us an email about her "tricky sense of disability identity." As Fey's sight worsens, she struggles to know how and when to open up to people in her life about it—friends, dates, coworkers. Over the course of several conversations in the last year, I talked with Fey about how and when to disclose her disability, gaining independence, and relying on others. Plus, she gets a pep talk from a fellow visually impaired Nigerian American, EDM singer Lachi. Come sing along with me at a special sing-a-long karaoke party in honor of the paperback release of Let's Talk About Hard Things. We'll drink, talk and SING about hard things in NYC on May 6, at 7pm at The Greene Space. You can email us any time to share your stories at firstname.lastname@example.org comments0
- Anna Sale Introduces Dead End: A New Jersey Political Murder MysteryAnna talks with her WNYC colleague Nancy Solomon about her new podcast, Dead End: A New Jersey Political Murder Mystery. New Jersey politics is not for the faint of heart. But the brutal killing of John and Joyce Sheridan, a prominent couple with personal ties to three governors, shocks even the most cynical operatives. The mystery surrounding the crime sends their son on a quest for truth. Dead End is a story of crime and corruption at the highest levels of society in the Garden State. EVENT : Come sing along with me at a special sing-a-long karaoke party in honor of the paperback release of my book, Let's Talk About Hard Things . We'll drink, talk and SING about hard things. In San Francisco : on May 3rd, at 6:30pm at Manny's. Tickets HERE. In NYC: On May 6, at 7pm at The Greene Space. Tickets HERE.0 comments0
- SiblinghoodFor all the things we share with our brothers and sisters -- parents, genes, a childhood -- most of us have also wondered at one point or another how we could possibly be related to our siblings. As we grow up, it can be hard to update those relationships that were forged so long ago. You were children together; it can be hard to act like adults together. More than 200 of you reached out to tell me your sibling stories. I heard from Alix, whose twin sister, Katie, has cerebral palsy. “Every time I reach another milestone in my adult life,” she said, “it feels like something that [Katie] can’t ever get to.” Mike told me about sobering up at 50—and losing the thing that brought him and his drinking buddy brother together. Paul* reflected on why he feels angry at his big sister, whom he used to look up to. Consuello debated whether or not to let her younger brother come and live with her, after she found out he was homeless. And Megan* opened up about the brother she decided didn’t exist anymore, 30 years ago. We also heard from people without siblings -- like Sabrina, who cared for her mom when she got sick last year. And, I called up my four sisters, all at once, in four separate time zones. *Name changed This episode first aired in 2015. Listen to updates from most of the siblings here. EVENT : Come sing along with me at a special sing-a-long karaoke party in honor of the paperback release of my book, Let's Talk About Hard Things . We'll drink, talk and SING about hard things. In San Francisco : on May 3rd, at 6:30pm at Manny's. In NYC: On May 6, at 7pm at The Greene Space.0 comments0
- Hard: Softening ExpectationsCarson Tueller became paralyzed from the chest down after an accident in 2013. "I absolutely know that there is a sense of loss and grieving that comes when you lose physical function," he told Death, Sex, & Money , our colleagues at WNYC. "If you could previously have an erection and have penetrative sex with your partner in a really fulfilling way and you can't anymore, the grief and the loss from that is totally legitimate." However, Carson adds, "that doesn't have to mean that something's wrong with you. It just means it’s time to learn how to have sex differently." In this final part of DSM's series Hard, we hear from Viagra users past and present whose ideas about sex have shifted—from being a goal-oriented pursuit to one that is much more about pleasure and acceptance. This is the third episode of a three-part series. Listen to the first episode—about the impact of ED and Viagra on relationships— here, and the second episode—about the surprising origin story of the drug— here.0 comments0
- Hard: Little Pill, Big PharmaWhen Dr. Irwin Goldstein started his career in urology in the 1970s, he remembers asking his mentor—an early pioneer in penile implant surgeries—"How the hell does an erection occur in the first place?" His answer: 'We have absolutely no idea,'" Dr. Goldstein recalls. "So I said, okay, well, this is what I'm doing." In this second episode of our three-part series, Hard, we dive into the medical and scientific advancements that led up to Viagra's FDA approval in 1998. From an unforgettable conference presentation...to an overnight drug study where an unexpected side effect kept popping up...we hear about the strange twists and turns that eventually led to a little blue pill, from some of the people who were there along the way. Plus, we explore the intentionality around the early marketing of Viagra—when former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole encouraged men to summon the bravery to talk to their doctors—and we hear how that message has shifted over the years. This is the second episode of a three-part series. Listen to the first episode, about the impact of ED and Viagra on relationships, here. And look out for our episode next week, where we meet people for whom Viagra sparked deeper exploration about the meaning of good sex.0 comments0
- Hard: Erectile DisappointmentBob first started experiencing erectile dysfunction in his 50s. "The erections wouldn't last," he told me, "and that became kind of a frustration." Bob and his wife, Joanne, tried asking their doctors for help—but it was the mid-1990s, and medical interventions were limited. "I think back then [ED] was kind of looked upon as, you're getting older and this is going to happen and there's nothing you can do about it type thing," Bob told me. "That’s life, guy!" A lot has changed since then. In 1998, Viagra was approved by the FDA, suddenly opening up new sexual possibilities for people like Bob and Joanne. The drug also sparked a very public conversation about erectile dysfunction—one that, despite beginning earnestly, quickly veered toward late-night punchlines. "There's just so many memes and so much pop culture reference in a joking manner," a woman we're calling Louise told me, whose husband has prostate cancer-related ED. "[Viagra is] for the couple, it's for the marriage, the relationship, the partnership. It isn't just about a guy getting a boner." And while millions of Viagra prescriptions have been written during its almost 25 years of existence, for some, Viagra has not been the quick fix they hoped it would be. A listener named Brandon takes medication for depression and anxiety, and found that for him, erections when taking Viagra are "very much a roll of the dice." Yet in a world where ED drugs are readily available—he feels a lot of pressure to perform. "This oversexualized culture doesn't say anything about having sex and not being able to get an erection as being okay," he told me. "It's very much big hard dicks flying everywhere." This is the first episode of a three-part series. Look out for our episode next week where we go back in time to tell the story of how medicine, science, money and marketing collided to create a Viagra explosion.0 comments0