Fall in love with finding you would bring the island Finley Sinclair. I'm looking for something real.
Critics are calling it a total Delight while I'm excited in years. It's amazing. Finally, something we can agree.
Finding Eureka PG. Brindle guidance suggested now playing in theaters walking to the bad decisions. Podcast, ladies and gentlemen, there's going to be a lot of grown folks language throughout this podcast. So just take caution if you're listening from here out.
The bad decisions podcast, I am your host Katie Duke. This is a podcast where we talked about all the real raw, unfiltered shit. That is going on in your heads or the heads of everybody else that they wish other people talk about, you know, that taboo stuff. That real life stuff, you're only going to get it here. Let's talk about the bad decisions.
Greetings everybody. Welcome back to the bad decisions podcast, I am your host, can you do? And I just want to say thank you. Thank you for hanging in there. Thank you for listening. Thanks for sharing, thanks for supporting the podcast. And I really, really appreciate y'all. So on to new fun things, you guys know that I moved last week from New York City to Los Angeles, which was a little bit of a big fucking move. I'm excited about it though, because for one, I'm not moving till like, the middle of fucking nowhere first fall, but there are some exciting things going on in my life right now. And there are some really neat chapters that are opening in Los Angeles, and not only that. But like, you know, at the end of day, I have people out here. My best girlfriend is out here at the Cherokee uniforms headquarters.
Here and the new new opportunities that sit out here, sometimes sit on the completely opposite side of your comfort zone, and I can be the first person to a test that, you know, New York City will always be my home. New York City will always be my, my place where my people are and it will be the city that kind of, almost gave me an identity. And a lot of people like, oh my God, I can't believe, you're, you're leaving New York City, like, oh my gosh. And at the end of the day, like New York will always be there, but sometimes we just have to get out and try new things. Sometimes we have to get out and see, you know what other options are out there or what? It's like, living somewhere else. And sometimes we actually just have to take big risks and take big leaps. And I think that's one of the most difficult things for us to do. And if you look back on your own life, I'm sure you could probably think of multiple occasions.
Are you took a big risk but that risk required you to really really step outside of your fucking comfort zone. All that's literally me making this big decision cuz as we all know the last time I chose to move out of New York City did not end so well it was not the best move. I guess you could call it a bad decision but this is different. So I'm excited for this but that's why it took last week off the whole moving process, as you know, painstaking. But also the other side to it is like I don't have any my shit here. Like where the fuck is my shit? I don't know about you guys, but the only time I want to live out of a fucking suitcases, if I'm on vacation and I do not feel like I'm on vacation right now. I feel like I'm in this beautiful new apartment and I'm literally living out of a fucking suitcase and I'm like a, my dad. But I mean then again like I do kind of wear the same outfit over and over again or if the same three outfits like that's kind of my face.
So I do I really have any room to talk and complain. But anyway, on to more important things. My stuff is going to take several bucking weeks to get here and a lot of people are like peeing on man. Like damn, that's crazy. Why is it take so long? You should just driven it yourself. First of all, can you fucking picture me driving a goddamn U-Haul from New York City to Los Angeles? I think it's not. Okay. Also, the machines are not fucking comfortable. And lastly, anytime you move from Mike cross-country, whether you're on, you know East Coast going to the West Coast or whether your West Coast going to the east coast, whatever. And if you work with a moving company, it's pretty standard for your stuff to take, you know, like up to two, to three weeks to get it. So how the movers work is Bay, they take your items and they they put your items and several other household items on an 18-wheeler and it gets driven cross-country, and then it makes multiple stops.
So that's that. Anyway, back to what I was talking about. I'm literally recording this in my bathroom which is kind of weird because I'm sitting here on my toilet and I'm staring in a mirror and I'm like, this is interesting, but hey, I've definitely done weirder ship before. So this isn't like a top-five. But the cool thing is is that when you do move cross-country, or when you move, I mean really like ever, you can kind of like do you like a nice little like spring cleaning of your life and man, I can't fucking tell you how good it was to actually like Purge. Some of the shift that had accumulated in my apartment literally like just over the last year.
And the weird thing is, is I'm like, I don't even understand like why I have half the shit that I have. First of all, why do I have like, Seventeen pairs of black sweatpants? Does anyone else have this issue? Why the fuck do I need 17? Pairs of black sweatpants like? I mean, let's keep it real. Like I understand there's like a more dressy or a pair of black sweatpants. There's a black, sweat pants that stains everywhere. They remember. Laundry days are painting your walls and then there's like the black sweatpants that are like, I could, like, run errands in these, but those are really like, the only three categories multiple pairs with in each category. And why the fuck did I allow myself to buy so many fucking pairs of black sweatpants in 2020? I mean, come on people, it's getting out of hand. Does anyone else have like this wicked online shopping fucking problem and if anyone wonders, why my loans are paid off or why, you know, my life isn't together while I have it on lunch.
And probably some gentleman and it's a decision. But anyway, so something I wanted to kind of like get into this week that's been coming up a lot just to Route like social media world but also threw like some of my like friends is outgrowing people and I have to say that like this is something that I think can kind of get home for everybody because at some point in time, we have all outgrown somebody in our life and you have either had to cut ties with somebody or just kind of Fades away. And when I say, like Fades away that, like if you stop making the effort, they stop making the effort and it just kind of fizzled out. But I just curious, like, why do we keep people in our life who don't bring any value? I'm curious. Like, I would really like to know why do we keep people in our lives? And why do we give our time and our energy and our effort?
Our love, and our concern, our support, all of that. Why do we give that to people who do not contribute anything to our lives? For example, a good friend of mine, has this friend who he has known for probably. I mean, I don't know 20 years like they grew up together, right? But they are two completely opposite individuals right now. Like they have nothing in common other than the fact that they grew up together and he was talking to me the other day and he's like, you know, every time I'm around him, it just feels so awkward, he's so negative, you know, he doesn't support anything that I do. It's weird to even have like conversations with him. And I just don't understand like why he
You know, it's so negative and what the hell is like, the what is what is the issue? Like where did we kind of like go off on these two different paths? And I was like, man, honestly like for real, like you grew up and that person didn't and you're choosing to keep him in your life because maybe you feel bad, maybe you don't want to cut them off, but it's also kind of hard to step away from people when you have all this history together but is it really is valuable like significant relationship in your life. When the only thing that you have in common is that history together and this can go for relationships as well. If the only thing that is pumping your relationship or the only thing that you can say, when people say good things about your relationship is always been together for all these years or oh, I, I grew up with him. He's my best friend, if that's the only thing you can say the night.
It's time to re-evaluate the relationships in your life and it's hard for us as humans cuz we naturally don't want to alienate ourselves. We naturally don't want to, you know, I'm cut people off where we're loving creatures who, you know, once that camaraderie and we want relationships, and that's all normal and healthy. But at what point in time do you fucking outgrow people? And it will point in time. Do you have to actually say, okay, this doesn't really make any sense for us to even like, still talk, it's weird. It's fucking awkward, some comfortable. I mean, there are people that I have known my entire life. Who were my dearest? Closest friends for many years, you know, especially like growing up and stuff. And I'll be honest with you, like we have nothing in common except for the fact that we grew up together and there's no beef there, there's no drama like, it's nothing negative, but that can't be the only thing contributing to your relationship.
That can't be the only thing that you have, that can't be the only substance that you have.
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What episode of bad decisions is sponsored by betterhelp.com, you guys know that. I have been very vocal over the last month or so about my mental health concern. I felt myself going to a really dark place, which is very scary. But I knew that I needed help, I actually started to use better help better. Health is a private safe online, professional counseling environment with licensed professional therapist. I was scheduling a weekly video chat with my counselor within the first few weeks after my breakup and it was probably one of the only things that got me out of that, very dark place. Anything that might have an effect on your mental health. They have a counselor that specializes in that. In fact, so many people have been using better help that they have been recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states. And I think that's really important because it shouldn't be taboo to
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I think a lot of people also stay in really toxic dogs and I think a lot of people stay in bad environments because of their fear of cutting people off or their fear of walking away or their fear of like, you know, leaving or their fear of just kind of fucking calling a spade, a spade. And we obviously no one likes conflict. You know, obviously nobody wants to kind of Ino go out in the world and just, you know, start shit with people who they've known for years or start sit at their workplace or whatever. But, there is a lot of times when it doesn't have to be some big huge conflict. It doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, some big huge set of drama. But anyways, so continuing the conversation with my friend, my homeboy and he's like, you know, it's just kind of hard for me.
I just feel bad cuz I have went on in my life and I and I've done very well for myself and I've you know, really had a lot of great opportunities and he's just kind of still like stuck and I feel bad but I also feel like anytime I try to talk to him or Mentor him or get him motivated, that he's just not trying to hear any of it and he's just so fucking negative and I'm like, yeah, bro, like you fucking outgrew him so it's time to just say listen you've been a great friend over the years and and that's fine. But you know this there's really no reason for us to keep talking and we have to be okay with putting our own needs first, we have to be okay with putting our own well-being. First our own peace of mind and we also have to be okay cutting the extra baggage and cutting the shit out of our Lives. It's not contributing anything.
So if you're wondering why I'm talking about this now like honestly the move cross-country kind of made me think about a lot of different things. It made me think about, you know, purging through my fucking closets and just getting rid of a bunch of stuff that I don't need a bunch of stuff that I don't want stuff. That doesn't really do anything for me anymore anymore or donated a bunch of things. But it also really made me think a lot about certain people in my life. And what are they contributing to my life? Do they check up on me today? Actually add value to my life or is it just the fact that? Yeah, we like known each other forever, and I think that we all need to do a little spring, cleaning every now and then, I think we all need to do some sort of purging your life of the stuff that sort of black significance. The stuff that lacks value. And I guarantee each one of us can think of a few people here and there, who we've kept around, that really
Don't I really don't have much value to our life other than the history that you have together. So you know, when you think about that, it's like, well damn, it kind of goes the same way, you know, for relationships the fact that you have been together for years and years should not be the only reason that you're together. Now, it shouldn't be the highlight or the first thing you brag about when it comes to your relationship. Additionally, your fucking job. I can't tell you how many people message me every single week and they're talking about Katie. I hate my job. I can't, my work environment is terrible. I'm not happy. We are not valued at this job and blah, blah, blah, a million different complaints and they're like the long. And my first question is, if I told you answer this question without using the answer, I've been here for so many years.
Tell me three reasons why you love your job and why you want to stay and they can't never answer that question. So why don't we apply that to more areas of our life? Like, why do we keep dead fucking wait around, why do we keep going back to dead? Fucking wait, jobs, just because we've been there so many years. Like, there's not plenty of other jobs out there, and again, like it's all about taking that risk and it's all about leaving that comfort zone, and it's all about understanding that. Yeah, it's not exactly going to be an easy process, but if you continue to stay in those environments, are you continue to stay with those people in your life? Then do you really have any have any room to complain? Because until you come to the point where you realize that, okay, you know, I actually have had enough, whether it's, I've had enough of this person. I've had enough of this fucking job. I've had enough of the city of had enough of this relationship and you choose.
Say I deserve better. I want more. I want better quality people on my life. I want a better quality job, whatever it is, nothing is going to change until you make that decision and that decision comes out of a place of a lot of discomfort and it involves you too deep and often that leaves can be interviewed as a big risk. But, you know, it's truly fucking cliche and I kind of hate cliche sayings, but where there is risk, there is eventual reward. But I hope that to all those people that have been messaging me about their City, work situations, or how to get, you know, how to how to eliminate a a a person. But I'm not going to tell anybody how to do in trouble, how to get rid of, you know, that dead weight in your life and how to go about having those difficult conversations. It doesn't have to be difficult. You just have to be confident that you deserve better and that you know what you want and
I want more quality friends in my circle and I want my circle to be smaller or whether that's, I want a better work-life balance. I want a different job or whether that's why I want to move from one city to the other until you know at the end of the day that you deserve better, nothing's going to change.
Bad decision is a lasting media production hosted and produced by Katie Duke and executive-produced by John Bender and Jason Barrett edited by Ben delameter and Jonas little, we know you have a bad decision. You want to share so visit bad decisions podcast, calm and submit your story for a chance to be featured on the show. For all things, Katie to visit, Katie Duke online.com and on social media, at the Katie Duke,